Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Growing Concern


This is a "short" story.

It runs in the family on both sides for generations. We are short.

I found Eric online. J-Date. I don't admit that often. He is, as he and his profile and his photo described: funny, charming, kind, creative, hard-working, music-loving and handsome with a great smile. All true but for this one thing: his profile stated that he was 5'3". I thought, "Perfect! A nice Jewish guy, a few inches taller than me! Great!"

As is turned out, we had a mutual friend that I credit with introducing us in person so that I didn't technically meet my husband on J-Date. Jodi brought him to my work-place to me one day, which surprised me almost as much as realizing that he was not 5'3" - he is 5 feet and almost 1 inch. Just like me.

Hannah was born weighing just under 7 pounds. Good and healthy. As she grew she was small and we repeated told by her pediatrician that all is fine with the then familiar refrain, "small parents - small child". It made sense. It fit.

When she was three years old that refrain became less relevant. She wasn't growing. A battering of invasive test revealed what for Hannah defined her stature as more than "small parents-small child". She has Celiac Disease.

Celiac Disease is is a digestive disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley. When people with celiac disease eat foods gluten, their immune system responds by damaging or destroying villi, the lining of the small intestine that allow nutrients to be absorbed. Without healthy villi, a person becomes malnourished, no matter how much food one eats. Celiac Disease is managed solely though diet. By eliminating all gluten from her diet - her villi heal, she gets the nutrients that she needs to thrive and grow. Almost three years later, we're back on the charts and she's growing at a "normal" rate.

But the refrain still holds true - "small parents - small child". We're a family and we fit. Hannah doesn't realize that people often look at us with disbelief when she says she's 6 and a half years old and starting Grade One. She doesn't realized that she wears a size 4 in jeans and that she's still in a 5-point harness car seat. None of that really matters to her.

What matters to her and what she does realize is this: she can't play on the monkey bars at the park like her friends, she can't go on the water-slides, that she is always delegated to be the baby when playing house and that she can't hold a baseball bat as well as her neighbour who is 2 years younger than she is. These are things that matter when you're 6.

And I don't disregard it.

I remember what it was like. One of the most outstanding of all of my memories was in highschool. I was slow-dancing with a guy at my prom. He was on the basketball team and more than a foot taller than me. Because he could, he picked me up as we danced, my feet dangling in the air. He smiled. They all did. It was cute. I was cute. Oh, how I wanted to be beautiful that night, like my friends. It was my prom.

Everyone looks at Hannah and says that she's cute. And yes, she is. But I remember how I cringed at hearing that word so often. I look at my daughter, and see that she is beautiful - inside and out. I talk to her often about what is important. I am forever telling her that what I love the most about her is that she is beautiful - inside and out - that she is kind, generous and thoughtful. [Note to self: stop telling Hannah how cute she is and keep telling her that she's beautiful.]

When I talked to Eric last night about it he told me that her had also recently talked with Hannah about it too. She was disheartened and discouraged playing baseball. He told me that he explained that because she's small, she might have to work a little harder at some things. He told her that being small, however, will not be an obstacle for everything. He cited me as an example. "Look at all that Mommy has accomplished. She's not in the newspaper this week this week because she's not tall. She's in the newspaper this week because of what she has achieved." And that is why it's always been ok with me that he said he is 5'3".

When you stand tall, reach far, aim high or dream big, being short or being tall doesn't mean a damn thing.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I'd love to buy a new bag!

I knew that it would happen sooner or later...I was bound to start blogging. I suppose I've been waiting for something to hit me courage, inspiration or insomnia. In the end, my blog begins with shopping.

I was reasonably early and eager adopter of reusable shopping bags. I purchased them from the local grocery stores that I frequent. I felt good about the environmental impact of what I was doing when I bought the bags and as an added bonus I had fewer bags to carry into the house (they hold so much more, don't they?). And I love bags. I bought lovely organic shopping bags for my daughter's teachers that were silk-screened with "we don't inherit the earth, we borrow it from our children."

But I lamented the loss of my convenient and endless supply of plastic bags that I used to line my green bin, dog walks and wet bathing suits. But I adapted well. I buy biodegradable bags for the green bin and my dog and rely on my hearty supply of paper and reusable bags for everything else. I can accept that it's my fault when I forget my shopping bags and don't mind buying another one, I add it to the bin in my car.

In recent weeks local grocery stores have started to charge 5 cents for the traditional plastic bags. We've all known that it was coming and for the most part, the effort to reduce plastic bags has been applauded. I didn't expect that this new 5 cent bag buy would extend beyond the grocery store to include department stores, home accessory stores, toy stores, etc.

This evening I was at a local home store to replace my oven mitts and was surprised when the cashier asked me if I wanted to buy a plastic bag for 5 cents to carry home my purchase. I asked her what the store does with the money they are now charging for their branded plastic bags. She told me that they have recently changed all of their lighting to compact florescent energy efficient environmentally friendly bulbs from the monies collected from selling their bags. And this is what brought me home to blog. Implementing environmentally conscious changes and policies for ourselves - home and business - is responsible. When a business adapts such practices I can commend the effort and price that it takes which is often formidable. It is also the cost of doing business. It is about being responsible and acting in a way that would make your customers feel good about shopping at your store. It is often implementing such practices that would make a customer shop at your store rather than the one down the street when they recognize that you are doing something that they believe in too.

Ok, to get to my point. I would by a bag, for 5 cents if I really needed one or if I kind of needed one and was told that the 5 cents from my bag purchase was going to support and environmental cause or initiative. The way that it was explained to me this evening was that the 5 cents from my possible bag purchase will be put toward offsetting the cost of the new environmentally friendly lights in the store. Really?

I am an entrepreneur and small business owner. I have adopted environmentally friendly initiatives wherever possible. Three years ago I stopped using plastic bags at consumer shows in favor of paper bags. I supported the "Plastic Ain't My Bag" foundation. I ship my products in recycled and recyclable packaging and off-set my carbon footprint with Zero Footprint. None of these changes were cost-effective, but rather, they were all more expensive. But it was important to me, my business and my customers. I did not raise my prices at all but instead file it under "the cost of doing business".

So I said thank you, but no. I tucked by new oven mitts under my arm and tossed them onto the passenger seat of my car.

I would love to buy a new bag. Every girl loves a new bag. But you can buy your own lightbulbs.